Green Eggs and Ham

Green eggs And ham.

You'd think by now we'd have learned not to let the engineers congregate on the lawn. Last year, it was the atomic balloon, a potent mix of oxyacetylene and oxygen, with a source of ignition and the ability to shatter glass.

This summer, it's the solar cooker.

As Rob says, he can always count on Brian to have a great new summer toy. Brian came home with this, well, this thing. It unfolds and assembles into a lightweight saucer, reminiscent of those used by SETI for searching the> universe for radio signals, only smaller. Easy to carry. Set up on the lawn, the little gadget focuses the sun's rays to an element, which is in truth nothing more than a metal ring where you can set a pot. Or a frying pan. Sun comes out from behind a cloud, and voila, Le Chef de BBQ is in business. And how.

There was nothing for it, but to set it up and give it a whirl. Luckily for us, it was slightly cloudy, and every time the sun ducked behind a cloud we had time to regroup and put out the fires. According to the directions, this will boil a litre of water in one minute.

Scoffingly, Rob Williams set a folded newspaper on the element. Which caught fire, blazing, in well less time than that. As an aside, we discovered that if you stomp on a fire wearing crocs, they melt. (the crocs, not the fire) leaving Rob hot-footing about on the lawn. Ah, fashion. Footwear that is not only ugly, but useless for fighting forest fires. Smokey the Bear take note. Back to the cooker. It took a bit of adjusting to get the focus just right. Some fiddling to angle it just so into the sunbeams. Hands were extended - and rapidly withdrawn. Dave, not content with newspaper, held a stick of cedar kindling over the element. In less time than it's taking you to read this, he had a blazing torch. He began to eye the chickens, with malicious intent. Brian, ever practical, produced a frying pan, some butter, and eggs from the same chickens that were pecking about the base of the cooker.

Things improved markedly with Carol's arrival - out came green onions fresh from the garden, and some ham, and in no time flat, dinner was served.

The engineers figure that this simple device produces 1500 watts of power. Green power. Free, renewable, zero emissions. They are used extensively in China, Mongolia, remote areas where they are so far off the grid they don't know what the 'grid' is. With no emissions except the tasty smell of cooking food, no demands on hydro, coal, propane or oil, this little gadget gives new meaning to the phrase Green Eggs.

It seems impervious to breezes blowing across it, and we can hardly wait to get it to the beach for the next Wiener Roast, where it can join the Potato Cannon as a conversation piece. And, come the next hydro failure up here - which happens whenever we get a storm - we'll be able to make coffee for the masses. Not to mention omelettes.

Now, if we can just figure out how to get it to run Nancy's car...