Big, Wide News from the Bondi R&D & Fabrication Labs

Really cold weather in January gave Brian (PEng, Queen's) and son Dave (architect wannabe, Georgian) a chance to work indoors, over at the world famous Bondi R&D labs. We can't divulge the top secret location of this -- it's like CSIS, who don't advertise where they are located, but if you can FIND them, you can apply to work there!) Now, in February, we have an announcement (firmly tongue in cheek, and cheeky to boot) from the Lab, where the boys are proud to issue the following press release:

"after months of painstaking research and development, the new "747" lawn chair has finally been rolled out of the production shops. Called the "747" because of its W I D E B O D Y design, these chairs are specifically aimed at the market of certain retired folk we know, who find that their personal dimensions tend to increase as their retirement progresses.
A full two inches wider than a standard chair, it has been wind tunnel tested for side wind loads to 110 km/hr, and will remain firmly in the back of a pick up truck. A frontal wind of 50 km/hr can be handled without tipping.

Crafted from solid cedar, with matching cedar coloured ceramic coated cedar screws, this chair is built to last.

Design provisions allow the chair to be "super sized" to a maximum extra width of 8 inches. This would hold two cute 15 year olds in bikinis, but sadly, this is not the market we had in mind)

Research was briefly 'pro-rogued' to permit the grooming of ski trails, but investigations continue for the production of the Parliament Hill "Politico" model, should the House ever sit long enough to, well, to need to sit. There are serious design challenges. The hot air enviroment on the Hill poses the possibility of self ignition for ordinary cedar, and the chances of encountering bulls*** on the ground requires extreme anti-corrosion treatment. A silicone coated chair is being tested for this environment, since it will withstand up to 500 degrees F and s*** never seems to stick. Costs with this future model are an issue, so don't hold your breath for its release.

The "747", however, is up, running, and available to order."

In fact, the first order, from Dave, down at the FBBA Inc (Fat and Bald Burlington Airlines) has already been received. Dave writes:

"I'd like to order 115 of these '747' for delivery over the next three years. We are also interested in a full review of the planned E380 model, able to accommodate two bikini clad teens. The private, Politico model is also of interest, with advancing years when 'control' may become a problem. As we are in the planning stages, cost is not part of the equation at this point. Durability and utility are our keenest points of interest."

Thanks, to both the Bondi R&D Labs, and Dave, from Burlington, for letting us share this bit of silliness with all of you.

Mind, it's not ALL fun and games. We're sure we'll see Dave checking out his own personal "747" when he's here this summer. After all, the extra body width will no doubt furnish him with room to have TWO of the grandkids on his lap at the same time!