During a conversation with David, the discussion arose about domestic animals that have gone to war for us. Horses, obviously, God save them all, who carried cavalry, pulled guns and supplies, and died in the mud and hell of battlefields since the first horse allowed Man to sit on his back. Mules. Donkeys. Camels. Elephants, stomping across the Alps with Hannibal, who needed some lessons in climatology. Dogs, who carry messages, sniff out dangers and fight alongside their handlers. Dolphins, equipped by the Navy with weird devices to go look for mines. Even pigeons (but no record of chickens) have been pressed into our battles carrying messages.
“But not cats,” David suggested, as Achmed rolled over on the desk and grabbed David’s fingers in his claws. I think he was using those needle sharp claws to make a point. There was an occasion, in recorded history, when cats got up from their place by the fire and went into battle. Not willingly, I’m sure. In ancient Egypt, the cat was sacred. People had to stop what they were doing to render aid to an injured cat. To cause death to a cat was to suffer a hundred nasty hells. In short, you didn’t want injured, dying cats anywhere near you if you hoped to continue a long and peaceful life. The Romans knew this, and during a siege, they gathered up all the cats they could get their hands on, and fired them over the walls into the city streets, causing mass panic and crippling the fighting forces, who were thrown into great confusion and distress by the sight of cats being destroyed all around. It is a odd, tearful, sidenote to a greater history, but to Achmed, he of the long ginger fur and inquisitive nature, it matters. He set the matter straight, with a little help from David in spelling the longer wordsd, and unabashed by lack of rhyme or political correctness...
Achmed Teaches History
The walls, gray and high...
Without, the shouts of Romans
Within, panic and fear
The sky darkens
Furballs appear
Strange blossoms in the sky
Unfolding, brown, black, white and gray
Some ginger. Some the shade of saffron.
The sky alive with caterwaul
The cats have breached the walls
Flung from trebuchet.
Cats fired over walls...
The CAT, as Missile...
Sacred cats, descending
Into the streets of Egypt
Mi-OW
Mi-OUCH
Mi.... splat...
standing ovation
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