This is an odd post title, since right now most things are better than TV... save me from one more Reality Show, please!
The cats, Napster and Achmed aren't much for the TV at the best of times. They like to make up their own fun. Last night it was the ever popular Catch and Live Release in the living room game. The guest for the evening? A Northern Flying Squirrel.
Much of the hilarity for the pets is derived from watching Nancy try to round up the squirrel and return it to the wild. Sort of a cross between the So You Think you Can Dance and Mantracker, and possibly something that Simon Cowell might like to keep in mind for future shows.
Flying squirrels aren't big. What they are, other than endearingly cute with huge dark eyes and soft gray fur, is fast. They don't actually fly -- they jump, and stretch a cape of folded skin between their wrists and ankles that lets them sail. From the top of the curtain rod, one of these little acrobats can easily whiz past your ear and land on the far side of the room before you can say "Dang". From there, it's straight back up the wall (evidently they can climb almost anything) and Wheee! Here we go again!
The cats follow -- Achmed actively. Napster more passively, watching intently. Taffy didn't know quite where to be, so did her best to be everywhere at once. Poodles, too, are fast.
A cornered squirrel, although tiny, can deliver quite a bite. One can hardly blame the little guy. Gloves are in order, but they make you slower and less able to actually snatch a squirrel out of the air. Perched on the coat rack rail, a flying squirrel is at eye level, and we spent a bit of time there communing about the situation. Eventually all the coats were removed from the rack and piled on the couch, to remove the Houdini-like disappearing acts of in-and-out of sleeves...
Finally, bless his little nocturnal socks, the squirrel went to 'ground' in a rolled up sheet of archery targets behind the boot rack. With Achmed guarding the entrance, and the coat rack wall guarding the exit, we had the little guy. Folding up both ends of the paper, I was able to carry him outside and set him free.
I read a Letter to the Editor of Country Life magazine recently lamenting bats. The writer had been home-invaded by a bat. Just one. This had so traumatized the daughter that the family had been forced to sell the house and relocate. Now, I'm all for not having bats in the house. Or in the attic. Or the belfry, come to that. You truly do not want to be dealing with the left-behinds of these. But get a grip, people.
An adult brown bat weighs about the same as a nickel and two times. She will decimate the insect population in her neighbourhood, she won't get tangled in your hair or turn you into a vampire's breakfast. And she wants to leave as much as you want her to go. Much like my visiting Flying Squirrel.
Having a wild animal in your house may be inconvenient -- and depending on the animal the end result can be --shall we say --Messy. We know of people who have come back to their private cottages to discover raccoons in residence (bad plan); or a bear cleaning out the kitchen (even worse plan) But it is hardly a reason for life-long trauma or a panicky phone call to the Realtor.
The best option is to keep the wild outside. The cats and I have had this discussion before, and we'll have it again. The flying squirrel will show up at the bird feeder in the evenings, where we can all enjoy watching him, and admire his gliding abilities. We'll all go back to bed -- a little sleep deprived from the chase, and with a pile of coats on the sofa to be sorted in the morning. There is nowhere you are going to live where you are not going to have to deal with non-human visitors in the house, be they a flying squirrel or a cockroach (and for my money, I'll take the flying squirrel any day!!!) Let's just learn how to live with the neighbours, shall we?
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